


Deer’s got it rough

by OzzieSalted



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Al is a boi with sad feelings inside, Angel Dust loves Al no matter what, Angst?, M/M, References to Depression, mentions self harm, sob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23147377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzzieSalted/pseuds/OzzieSalted
Summary: Al is remembering his nightmarishly depressing past. Usually, he struggles alone but this time, he has people to help him.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Comments: 20
Kudos: 114





	1. Trauma haunts at Night...

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy! First work! I wanted more edgy stuff about al so here!

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Those were Alastor’s final breaths before he bled to his ultimate demise. That K-9 really did a number on him, huh? God, he felt so alone, he felt cold as the white, delicate snow was dyed red under him. Al felt salty tears on his pale cheeks before he uttered his final words...

“Je suis désolé, maman... Je ne te verrai pas au paradis. Je t'aime. Pardonnez - moi pour ce que j'ai fait pendant que j ai vécu... quand j'ai tué...*”

And with that final mutter of words, he stopped breathing and went to the place where Lucifer slept.

H e l l .  
——————————————

The deer demon woke up in a cold sweat, thank god he was in his apartment and not the hotel, everyone would be asking ‘are you okay?’ or ‘why do look like shit?’

Al must of cried in his sleep, because he eyes felt dry. God... that was a nightmare... Why would he even dream that? Why did his mind want to make him suffer with that... memory? Al decided to get ready for the day, first by cutting himself with a knife, it was around the forearm area, he stared at the blood that was dripping down his arm to his wrist.

“What a gorgeous colour...” Al mumbled to himself, not even sounding like a radio, he then took a shower, got dressed and headed to the hotel. Alastor here was going to be a tad late, which is something he never does.

——————————————

Angel Dust was eating breakfast with the others, normally, Alastor would be here by now. Charlie, Vaggie, Niffty and Husk didn’t really notice but Angel knew something was off with his deer boyfriend, the spider couldn’t put his finger on that feeling though. 

“Somethin’s off...” Angel said out loud, he put one of his hands on his chin, thinking. Charlie suddenly noticed the deer wasn’t there.

“Yeah, Alastor isn’t here... Why isn’t he here?!” Charlie was that type of person to panic easily, Vaggie grabbed her shoulders and lightly shook her worried girlfriend.  
“Calm down...”

As Angel and Charlie started to panic, Alastor walked through the door, the only difference being that his smile was forced more than usual and that he looked tired...

He looked tired of just breathing...

Like he just...

𝗗𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲...


	2. Oh deer, why must you be so mysterious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husk is about to reveal a few details about Al... does his actions have consequences?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this chapter, more detail and more edgy shite for ya.

“AL!”

Both demons where wondered where the fuck he was, both of them started shoving their questions down his skinny throat, the wary deer didn’t need this at 8:32 in the morning. They kept on repeating the same questions he was willing to answer after a cup of coffee or some early morning vodka. Jesus, their voices sounded so... whiny? Child-like? He didn’t know nor did he care. 

Alastor barged pasted the spider and princess and sat down by the bar where Husk sat, drowning, not only a beer, but his sadness and will to live. The feline noticed Al as he sat down.

“The fuck down you want?” Husk cocked his head as he asked he harsh question, not giving a shit about Alastor’s well-being as he thought he was just there to piss him off more than he already was.

“The most strongest beer you have. I don’t give two shits if it kills me, I just need to be numbed.” 

Husk paused his movements, he stared at Al, his mouth was slightly open as he was about to drink his beer, the feline widened his eyes. He realised that Al looked like he was hit by a truck, he looked fairly normal clothing wise, but his eyes boomed with depression and his nightmare past. He grabbed a shot glass and poured the strong liquid into the glass and slid it over to Al.

“Here...?” Husk’s eyebrows knotted as he was in thought, “Why do you need this? You don’t even have beer half the time, let alone shots in the morning.” He sighed, his hand on his chin.

“Didn’t sleep well and even coffee couldn’t wake me up properly today.” He replied, drowning down the alcoholic beverage, this was the biggest bullshit he has ever said in his whole time under the Nine Circles of Hell itself. Al just wanted to past out but today as he had to stare at about 20 screens all at once, all of them being the hotel’s stats, bills, files, prescription documents of patients and patrons. Al was stressed to the point that he had grey streaks in his hair, not because of his age but because there was so much pressure*... Why did he agree to do this again? Ah, yes, it was because he was bored out of his murderous mind, how jolly.

To make things worse, Angel and Charlie kept on bugging him, Vaggie was there, trying to calm her down and Niffty was too busy cleaning up the mess from other patrons. Alastor finished his shot and left for his office, locking the door, taking off his jacket, putting on his glasses, tied up his hair in a low ponytail and booted up the screens and files he had to sort through. He’d had to stand in a pitch black room with the white light of the blaring screens that stood before him...

——————————————

They had no idea what just happened, nor did they have any clue on why Alastor wasn’t smiling. Husk had an idea on why, though it had something to do with his death or backstory, both options where traumatic for Alastor and Husk knew he couldn’t saying anything but somehow, people were turning to him for answers.

“You’ve know him for the longest out of all of us! Surely you must know something, Husk.” Charlie stated. At this point, they where begging for answers. This was starting to piss Husk even more, he may as well spill the beans about Al, they were going to find out at some point...right?

“Finnnnne! If you must know, it’s to do with his very... graphic past... Alastor told me to keep this a secret, so if you spill any of this info in front of Al, he will murder me. You got that!? Not. A. Word.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, not a word.” Angel lightly waved his hand as he said this, he just wanted to know why Alastor wasn’t talking to him, nor the others. 

“Alright... lets start from the beginning...”

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So! I feel that demons in hell don’t really age at all, but they can get grey hairs due to high amounts of stress or something like that, Al started developing this, I will reveal more about some stuff as this fanfic continues to grow!


	3. A past he wants to forget.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor’s past was...rough.

Alastor-Richard Boudreaux grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana. He had a mother, a father, an older sister and younger brother. On the outside, the Boudreaux‘s looked perfectly normal, with perfect faces and smiles but those faces were fake, there was more to them than you’d think...

Damion Boudreaux, the man of the household, was an alcoholic. He’d always throw bottles at his depressed wife, Abigail Boudreaux. She had a horrible adulthood with the man she once loved, the poor woman tried to file for a divorce but Damion here wasn’t having any of it. 2 weeks after, when Alastor was 13, Abigail had committed suicide. The drunk man he called his father soon met his hellish fate after he was drink-driving and crashed, he died of trauma to his head.

Amélie Boudreaux, Alastor’s older sister, was an amazing sister. She was 18 when their mother died and since then, she took it upon herself to look after her baby brother’s. She had a very successful acting career and starred in many films. Amélie didn’t do drugs or hurt anyone. She’d go to Heaven. 

His younger brother, Leonel Boudreaux was an oddball, he believed in voodoo and other supernatural things, of course he never harmed anyone, he couldn’t anyway. Leonel was weak and too nice to hurt anyone. He’d give money to poor children and helped others, despite his odd beliefs. He’d go to Heaven.

Then there was Alastor-Richard Boudreaux, ‘a boy with no soul’ they’d call him, why, you may ask? Well, Alastor-Richard here was the most abused by his father, he was beaten, strangled and even raped on more occasions than one. It was to the point he became numb to his feelings, he just... let it happened. His siblings never knew and he didn’t want them to know. When Alastor’s mother and father passed, all that they left was his trauma. At the ripe age of 15, he took to self-harm and over-dosing on pills and drowning himself in alcohol in his free time.

By the time he was 20, he started his radio show, which was a hit with everyone back then and soon, Alastor had millions of people tuning in and he became famous, just like his sister... but he started to up the pills and this is when he started to kill people, one by one, day by day, the blood on his hands grew darker and darker. Alastor’s sanity was quickly disappearing and he started to become sloppy with his murders, he was high on pills, his brown-red hair rested on his shoulders as he dragged his final body to the woods, as he finished dumping the evidence, he felt a sharp pain.

Alastor didn’t know what killed him first, the gunshot or the fucking dog but he knew he was a disappointment to the Boudreaux name, even his father was better than his eldest son. When the High Judges of Heaven and Hell where about to state his sentence, he already had braced himself to the words that they soon said.

“Alastor-Richard Boudreaux, based on the sinful life you have lived... you are going to Hell.”

————————————————————————

Al stood in-front the computer’s, typing away, wondering what his mother and siblings where doing. 

“Probably better than me I suppose...” he chuckled lightly to himself before finishing his work, happy with the results for the day, he started to head downstairs when he overheard Husk saying something the deer trusted the feline to keep for himself.

“That’s was his life, you happy now?” Husk grunted, picking up a new bottle of larger and taking a loooooooooong ass sip before placing it down.

Alastor wasn’t happy. Not after this stunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I made Alastor’s name a double name, it has a nice ring to it eh?


	4. The Cat got a beating!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor is pissed at the alcoholic feline.

Alastor teleported behind the bar where the cat stood. He had a kitchen knife in his belt, ready to pull out and stab Husk but he composed himself and decided against it. Alastor hooked his left arm over his “companion”, smelling the alcohol blasting off the feline demon, he opened his mouth and gave it his best shot to sound friendly but instead it came out as dead, cold and fucking terrifying.

“We need to talk Husk.” He said, his tone flat, “Kitchen, now.” 

Husk did what he was told and went to the the kitchen, Alastor was shortly behind. Once the door closed fully, the deer pinned the cat to the wall, nearly pressing the sharp blade into Husk’s neck. 

“ALASTOR, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Husk shouted, when he got no response, he looked at Alastor’s hair and face, noticing the details, the grey hair, the tired red eyes that haven’t glowed in weeks or months, the flat tone. Husk started to piece together the puzzle until the deer interrupted his thoughts.

“Me? Really? Me? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TRUSTED YOU ENOUGH TO NOT TELL ANYONE. YOU FUCKER-“ he cut himself off, was this out of instinct? Was this dreadful, murderous behaviour from his fucked up childhood? What was he doing? He was mad, yeah, but why the knife... god, if he ever had kids, he make a terrible father. He let go of Husk, Al put his hand over his face, feeling shame.

“Just... don’t talk to me again.” 

“What-“

Alastor’s temper was already through the roof, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“If you don’t leave at this moment, Husk, I’ll will personally put you through hell to see what it’s like to die twice. ”

And with that, Husk left the kitchen, did... did he just piss off Al? Because, if he did, then he’s fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> *translation: “I’m sorry, mum... I won’t see you in heaven. I love you. Please forgive me for what I did while I lived... when I killed... them...“


End file.
